Christmas, Party-of-One.

2019, has been one of the greatest and yet, most emotionally draining years of my life. I’ll explain more on that in my post going live in a few days.

Though, everything happens for a reason - so thanks to the rough and tough portions of the year, I really wanted to spend some time alone for the holidays. Weird? Yeah, probably. But honestly, I didn’t have it in me to really “people” it-up this year. I wanted solitude. I wanted a moment to breathe with no expectations from anyone or anything, without the need to entertain or even talk, if I didn’t feel like it. I just wanted some alone time with me and God and what better time to unplug than during the holidays, while everyone else was preoccupied. And listen, it was worth it.

So on Christmas morning, after covering a Christmas event for a client…I hoped in the car for my first solo trip and my first time visiting Chattanooga, TN. Other than booking a room, the only plan I had was to eat something satisfying for dinner and visit Ruby Falls the next day.

I pull up, check-in, unload, and unwind. Eventually, it was time to find dinner and with it being Christmas, you could imagine half of the town was closed. So a huge thanks to Fuji Sushi & Steakhouse being ready to take my coins and feed me well, because they were literally the only real restaurant open. So sushi for Christmas? Never done it, glad I did it because it was clearly divinely planned for me to be there.

Here I am, a party-of-one in a restaurant packed like you wouldn’t believe. I make my way to the bar, find a seat away from most of the crowd, and get ready to pull out my book “You’re a Bad Ass,” to set it all off. An older caucasian couple is sitting next to me and before I know it they’re gone and a girl, with hair laid for the lawds, is asking me if anyone is sitting there.

I had no clue where they went, so “nope, it’s all yours.”

One drink and two orders of Shumai later, we’re chopping it up and laughing so hard the waitress thinks we’re friends who planned this little link-up.

Turns out V, (we’ll call her V), was also having her first solo Christmas and also ventured out of the house to grab a bite. She shared how she really did want to be with her family, but thanks to a large-scale project at work it wasn’t possible. Either way, God knew what we needed, because sis and I laughed and talked the night away like old friends and new besties.

She even slick-slid-in that she’d love to make me her sister-in-law, lol! Sidenote: her brother is my type [Saweetie voice] so, Lord if it’s ya will… shan-doe and amen. [church wave]

We wrapped up the night and V, surprised me with a Christmas gift of a free meal, which literally brought me to tears. But she said it was on her heart because God knew what she needed at that moment, and He connected us at the perfect time to have it delivered.

I got back to my room, cried, smiled, laughed, and journaled about how sweet it is to be seen and heard by God, even with the most mundane prayers and moods. It was evident that He heard the both of us and answered us in such a special way.

The next day, I traveled over to Ruby Falls as I planned. Reaching 1,120 feet beneath Lookout Mountain's surface, walking half a mile on a tour, all to spend 5 mins next to the most beautiful natural ”indoor” waterfall I’d ever seen.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Pisces or a FL girl, but whenever I feel the most disconnected from myself or God, water and nature always realign me. And this tour, with 30 other people, with me as the only solo traveler, did just that. I took in the moment next to the waterfall, embraced the view from the top peak, and took my time leaving the city to head back to Atlanta.

I’m a planner by nature, but it felt so good to wing it. And like the caged bird that finally got to sing, all of the whimsicalness of this trip made me feel so free.

To say I was nervous to take my first solo trip, would be an understatement. To say it was well worth every penny and the “risk” for error, doesn’t do it enough justice.

I came back full of peace and felt like I had 3 therapy sessions in those 32 hours. I feel lighter, I feel connected, I feel here, I feel like me…I feel free.

If you’re thinking of taking a solo trip, do it.

Need time away from family, friends, or life in general? Don’t feel guilty about it.

Would I take another solo trip? Already planning on it.

Self-care is a must. We say it all of the time, but I can’t stress it enough.

So listen to your body, hear your internal cries, and trust your intuition to know when you just need a break. Go in to 2020, not just with a list of resolutions, but knowing that none of those goals can manifest well, if you’re not okay.

You deserve to breathe in peace and exhale anything opposite of it.

Your work, life, and relationships, will thank you for it when you do.

Choose to take care of you.

XO,
Ces